Woman ‘Abandoning’ Dejected Partner at Campsite for ‘Dream Hike’ Defended

One novice hiker has drawn the ire of the internet.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, an anonymous Redditor said they and their girlfriend recently took a vacation centered around an intense hike, but revealed how disparity in fitness levels led the pair down a treacherous path.

Titled, “[Am I the a******] for expecting my [girlfriend] to cancel her plans for me?” the post has received nearly 12,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments since November 14.

“My [girlfriend] is super into hiking,” OP began. “We planned a trip…that involved a hike in the Grand Canyon she always wanted to do.”

Continuing to explain that the couple embarked on a separate hike the day before their most-anticipated route, the original poster admitted they aren’t as fit as their girlfriend, and said they were too burned out to continue on.

The original poster also said they asked their girlfriend to scrap their original plans for the canyon hike, but to no avail.

“I couldn’t go on the other hike aka the dream hike,” OP wrote. “She said she was confident she could do it, saying she had hiked harder.

“I asked her to wait [until] tomorrow for me to recover [but] she said the weather report had a 30 [percent] chance for rain…and that she wasn’t going to give up on a bucket list hike,” OP continued. “I got mad because I felt like she was ok with abandoning me with nothing to do at her campsite.

“I didn’t want to talk to her…but she didn’t seem to care and prepped for her hike,” OP added. “She finished it the next day and I feel like she didn’t care that I was too tired to hike and chose to go without me.”

The idea of ​​traveling as a couple is a romantic one.

Whether a tropical retreat, snowy ski resort or a jaunt into the great outdoors, vacationing with a romantic partner can be an enriching experience drawing couples even closer together.

It also poses the potential for disaster.

Man exhausted from hiking.
Man exhausted from hiking. Members of Reddit’s r/AmITheA****** forum were beside themselves after one hiker revealed why they tried to keep their girlfriend from embarking on her “dream hike” during a recent vacation.
megaflopp/iStock/Getty Images Plus

“Everybody thinks vacations are just going to be romantic and fun and splendid,” Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist and author of AM I LYING TO MYSELF? How To Overcome Denial and See the Truthtold News week.

“Everybody has a fantasy of how they think the trip is going to go,” Greer added. “[But] the bottom line is that travel is never as easy as one expects it to be.”

While differing vacation interests and desires are common points of contention for couples, a failure to communicate those interests and desires can be even more damning.

When there is no communication, there is no possibility for compromise. And, like with most circumstances within a relationship, compromise is the ultimate key for success.

For couples looking to make the most of their time away from home, Greer recommends that contingency plans are put in place to ensure that both parties feel heard in the case of any disagreements about vacations and how they play out.

“If you don’t deal with things ahead and get out in front…you’re going to hit tension,” Greer told News week. Friendships bottom out [and] relationships go cold because of the disappointment at what happens around trips.

“I call it emotional jeopardy,” Greer added, noting that both partners must be included in any decision making. “Once somebody is involved and giving their permission, they’re making the choice to be considering your needs, and they’re not going to feel abandoned.”

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, however, many Redditors took issue with the original poster’s claims they were abandoned, questioning why they thought their girlfriend should’ve given up on their plans at the last minute.

“You went on a trip to go on this specific hike, and only the day before realized you’re not fit enough to go on said hike?” Redditor u/mdsu5276769 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 40,000 upvotes.

“You really expected her to just abandon her dream now that it was right there in front of her?” they asked.

Redditor u/dwotw, whose comment has received more than 14,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.

“It’s a bucket list hike for her and you should have prepped for it,” they wrote. “You don’t get to tell her how important hiking should be to her.”

“You didn’t adequately plan/train for this, when you knew it was deeply important for your partner,” Redditor u/thoracicbunk commented. “Then when you, unsurprisingly, are dealing [with] the consequences of your lack of training, you want her to forget the ‘bucket list’ item to sit [with] you.”

“It sounds like you’re just upset that she didn’t give in when you were immature and refused to talk to her,” Redditor u/AnyAcadia6945 chimed in, receiving nearly 9,000 upvotes.

News week has reached out to the original poster for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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